Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Shanked

Today is another not so hot day- I feel just plain cruddy, but I'm not whining.



After an amuzing e-mail conversation with my wise guadian today, I have been struck by some responses to those strangers who inquire about my gait. (After today I won't whine anymore).

So here goes, when strangers ask "what happened to you?" I could respond with:



I was shanked in the leg while in prison,



Old war injury, shrapnil is still in there



Football injury, ruined my pro career



I'm drunk



You're drunk, I'm walking fine



Shark attack while swimming in lake Erie



Just got off my horse, he's parked around the corner



I injured it practicing the karma sutra



Parenting is rough



Ya know that magic trick where the magician traps you in a box and saws you in half?



When was the last time you had sex?



Sarcasm is funny! I know all these responses are rude and definitely not non-violent,but sometimes it would be nice to respond to rude questions with a rude comeback. Okay, I'm done with that now, I promise tomorrow I'll be back to my perky and empathetic self!

8 comments:

curly said...

Fab,

I enjoy your humor. It is not offensive and some of them can actually be used to let people know to back off a little, while not embarrasing them. BRAVO!

I have spent sometime today on a blog in which I found no humor. The people posting on it were refering to people with disabilities in terms I can't even speak let alone type. One person even went as far as saying they are not "real" people. I can't imagine having that much hate in one's heart. I am proud of how far the disability movement has come, but we have so much more work to do.

FAB said...

Yes we do! We've also come a long way though, which as wise man recently said to me, we should be optimistic!

rickismom said...

Not at all rude and funny... gave me a nice laugh!

Michelle Hodges said...

OK, those are hilarious. And if you were me---you'd say a few of them. Cause I can be rude like that! Nosy butts!!

By the way, in reference to your blog before this one, I will not compliment you on your lipstick unless it is Mary Kay brand...Why? Because I sell the stuff!!! LOL

FAB said...

I used to sell it too. I'll have to remember my favorite color and order some from you.

Michelle Hodges said...

OMGosh...didn't know you used to sell. They've changed everything around---again.

BTW...going to Nashville this weekend to hang out with Heather. Remember little Heather Jordan? LOL She's living down there and has three kids now.

Stephanie said...

I love this!! I think I will print it out and carry in my pocket...I NEVER think this quickly..LOL. Humor, even sarcastic, is always the best medicine in my book, even if it only leaves ME laughing instead of crying!

FAB said...

Welcome Stephanie!

Humor is the best medicine! I never think that quickly either, my comebacks usually hit me several hours later.