Life has been a blurr. My work schedule has been jam packed for months and in the last month or so, mounting concerns for my son have left me feeling overwhelmed and inadequate at times. I've always thought it important to take time to enjoy the little things and often tell others to do the same, but lately I have not been so good at following my own advice. You see, I like to be busy and I want to be helpful so I often don't say no when it comes to work, I am consumed at times with hope and work toward making a difference. I'm also a full time student and mother of three, so as you can imagine, on occasion I don't know which end is up! My body doesn't help the situation, I have an autoimmune disorder (psoriatic arthritis) which causes significant pain at times. The pain I can live with, it's the lethargy that stops me in my tracks. But, I'm stubborn. I'm not good at asking for help because I want to do it all, and I'm not good at slowing down.
This past week it all started to catch up to me. I started to get a cold, which means my body fights the cold and itself, so come Thursday night I didn't want to move and couldn't fight the overwhelming need for sleep. This prompted a lecture from my mother. "why don't you take some time off work? schedule your vacation time now before you fill your calendar." I responded by saying that I wasn't going to take a vacation. When I got to work yesterday, I wasn't myself, I was exhausted and barely motivated. I joked with my lovely boss that I'm too good at my job! She is our guardian at work, she watches over us and is always there with support and wise words. Yesterday was no different, she echoed my mothers sentiments and encouraged me to schedule days to stay at the office. I did do it, but I didn't like it. I knew that if someone needed something on those days I would fill my calendar...but I tried.
For much of the afternoon I thought about rest. About how I'm not so good about taking it, and really didn't want to now. Then I got into my car at the end of the day to begin my journey to a blessed three day weekend! The most incredible thing happened (I have found that there is rhyme in the universe and things happen or are said that make everything fall into place), my radio turned on, and instantly I heard a man talking about the beauty of rest! He was a pastor discussing the importance of observing the sabbath. He wasn't saying it was because it was some dictate on high, but because it was a gift. The gift from God of rest! I listened intently, awed by the magic of that moment, and by his words of the gift. He talked about how important it is, why we need it, and about what a beautiful gift it is!
Rest is a gift! I hadn't realized it until yesterday, and I have been raised to believe that we should always be grateful for gifts. At this moment I am grateful for the gift of rest, and I am going to learn to enjoy it more and listen to my body and the wise people who love me when they offer me the gift of rest.
If you are reading this while shoving a bagel in your face, talking on the phone, throwing on your shoes and juggling a baby on your hip, then you too are too busy, so I will tell you what God and the people I love have told me...Accept the gift of rest, oh what a beautiful gift it is!
6 comments:
I also have psoriatic arthrits and, like you, have discovered the incredible gift of rest! God has forced me to slow down and make my life count for things that have eternal value.
We have a great online support group at
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PsoriaticArthritis/. Hundreds of people and lots of great info about PA. I hope you'll check it out!
best regards,
sherry z
Thanks Sherry! I appreciate the info. and am so glad you too share joy in the gift of rest!
Where in Pennsylvania do you live? My husband has relatives in Wilkes Barre.
regards,
sherry z
I'm near Pittsburgh, not that close to Wilkes Barre.
Too bad! I'm dying to actually meet someone else with PA in the flesh. In almost 2 years since being diagnosed, I've never met another person with PA. I have one friend who has RA, which is very similar.
On a non-PA subject, have you read any books by Os Guinness? I recently read "The Call: Finding and Fulfilling the Central Purpose of Your Life" and enjoyed it greatly. It might speak to your spiritual search. He is a Christian philosopher and I think his background is Church of England.
PA has forced me to shut down my computer consulting business. Instead, I have begun ministering to teen girls who are wards of the state in a group home, teaching Bible studies for young mothers in our church, helping 2 families who are educating their children at home, and serving on the leadership team for our church's women's ministries. I do not mean to boast but rather to say that God has used my PA as a "severe mercy" to wake me up from my very worldly life and awaken me to my responsibility to use His gifts to me for His glory.
Another book that I highly recommend is "Making Sense Out of Suffering" by Peter Kreeft. He is a Catholic theologian at Boston College. I'm Protestant, but I find Kreeft's book the best I've ever read on the subject of suffering!
I'm so glad you joined our PA group!
best regards,
sherry z
Wow Sherry thanks, I'll check out both books! I have found that even though we may not understand the why at first, when we are open we find purpose! I am so glad that you found your purpose. When you are in Pa let me know, we could always meet halfway or something for coffee!
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