Saturday, August 23, 2008

Not Today


Today I can not be a "warrior," not today.

My son is about to learn of the cruelty and hazy assumptions that sometimes rule our world, and there is nothing I can do about it. He has been characterized by a label and no matter what I say or how I say it I can not change their minds. He is going to have to be his own warrior and fight this battle for himself. I can not prove to them who he really is, only he can do that.

For the first time in his life I can not shield nor protect him from the view others have of mental illness. Right now, his school sees only THAT label, to them, at this moment he is nothing more and they are afraid of what they do not know. They have been blinded by their assumptions and no matter how much righteous indignation I can muster their assumptions, no matter how discriminatory, will not change. Only my precious son can do that.

Come tomorrow I have to explain to him what is happening, I will have to look at the hurt, disappointment and anger in his face and then will have to send him "out there" to conquer attitudes for himself. I have no choice but to be positive and strive to see the best in this, and somehow I have to show him the best in it too. I will have to stand behind him and cheer him forward but no longer can I wage on for him.

Today is a new day in my title as "mother," today will be a new day as my son is forced to be man. He can do this, I know he can...but how I wish he didn't have to, at least not today, not yet.

9 comments:

Terri said...

My heart goes out to you and to your son--sometimes it's hard.

rickismom said...

I can relate to that. Its like when I tell Ricki--"You might as well know that people will ALWAYS look at you."

FAB said...

Thanks ladies, it's nice to know someone understands. It's just a shame that we have to expect that our kids will be treated differently!

Michelle said...

I will say a little prayer tonight for you and Tyler.

Stephanie said...

My heart aches at this entry! I keep hoping someday people will "get it", kids are so much more than the label that an obviously uninformed society give them!! My prayers are with you and your family!

FAB said...

Thanks Michelle and Stephanie for the prayers! Tyler is a strong, resilient kid, I know he's going to get through this, but every prayer helps!

corgiguy said...

Tyler is strong. He comes by it naturally. Together...that is how he (with help from his whole family) will make it today and everyday.
Doug

FAB said...

Thanks Doug,
he's already doing better than I with is! I learn some of my most valuable lessons from him. I am so gla dto be his mother!

aoc gold said...

What Does Little Birdie Say?

(1)

What does little birdie say,

In her nest at peep of day?

Let me fly, says little birdie,

Mother, let me fly away,

Birdie, rest a little longer,

Till the little wings are stronger.

So she rests a little longer,

Then she flies away.

(2)

What does little baby say,

In her bed at peep of day?

Baby says, like little birdie,

Let me rise and fly away.

Baby, sleep a little longer,

Till the little limbs are stronger.

If she sleeps a little longer,

Baby too shall fly away.

-----by runescape gold