Tonight I was playing with my lovely 4 year old, Ashton (Little angel in pink). We were sitting outside swinging, when she started to talk about what life will be like when she grows up. She informed me that she wants to be a Mommy, she would like three children, two girls and one boy (hmmm, I have two girls, one boy). This prompted me to ask other questions, "Well do you just want to be a mommy, or would you like to do other things as well?" At this point she informed me that she will work at my job (I don't blame her, it's a great job!). I then asked if she will be married and what her husband will be like, at which time she stated "well, he'll be handsome and kinda bald" (she just described her dashing father- James dashing man in back). At this point I turned to her and exclaimed "Do you want to be me when you grow up?" "Yes," was her reply, "but my name will be Ashton!"
This conversation brought about memories of similar conversations with my son (Tyler, handsome young man on right), who used to say that I was the most beautiful woman on the planet and he would marry me when he grew up. He was of course very young, when he got old enough get the whole "Oedipus" thing, he would then say that when he got married, he and his wife would have to live right next door to me, and when he flew to the moon I would have to go with him as he couldn't bear to be too far away from me! Those days are long gone, he now refuses to be seen in public with me and proclaims to the world that his mom is the "biggest nerd ever!"
While I want all my children to be their own person, I realized this evening how precious it is to be "idolized" so. I will never be famous or have a fan club, yet have been (however temporary) an idol to the three most important people in the world to me. What a big job that is! But what a delightful responsibility. I realized tonight that while this type of adoration may be fleeting it is so precious, and I would like to believe indicative of the great relationship I enjoy with each of my kids. No, it's not always a day at the park, but they always know they are loved, they always have someone to play with or talk to, they always have a support system and are never belittled or humiliated. They get to see and hear me stand up for what I believe in, work hard, place value on education and most importantly in other human beings. So while they may not want to be me or want to be with me forever, I am so glad that for even an instant my kids can look at me and think "she's an OK lady" or "that's the kind of mom I want to be." I'm also pretty happy that my kids can look at my life and their own and see it's blessings.
This job did not come with a manual, and it's always hard, but tonight I am patting myself on the back and giving thanks to God and my husband and my mom, who have helped me to cherish and support my kids, to keep them safe and lift them up. So, I celebrate being an "English Idol" (I'm not originally from the U.S. so can't say American), and I celebrate the most amazing three gifts I have ever had!
*I chose to post a picture of my gorgeous family today (I've been hesitant to do so in the past) Don't pay attention to the date on the picture, we never reset it. By the way, little girl on left is my sweet Savannah.