Friday, September 19, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Assumptions
Well it has been a while my friends, and I may be a little rusty, but here goes...
As I noted before, I have begun moonlighting as waitress. I love food and love people so I thought it would be something I'm good at, and it turns out I'm pretty right. I didn't realize how many valuable lessons I would learn.
Previous to waitressing myself, I suppose I had many assumptions about who was serving my meals. I assumed that as a server, most people were either college students working through school, or people who hadn't gone on to higher education and simply enjoyed the value of a good days work. Well, I was wrong. There are several traditional aged college students working at the restaurant, but just about everyone else already has a degree, some in the process of obtaining a master's, a few who already have a master's. I have quickly learned that just as the economy has pinched my budget, for others it has meant working full time as a server because good jobs are hard to find.
The people I work with are amazing, some down right brilliant. Many have travelled across the globe on various pursuits, others have incredible life stories. The people I work with are complete, whole, interesting and complex people just as I am. I have quickly learned though that when serving, the customer's rarely think about the complex person who is delivering their dessert.
I think through other posts, many of you will have figured out that I'm a pretty outgoing person, I love being around others and adore a little spotlight attention. Well, I have never felt invisible before, but as a server, one often does. Yes, many customers are very nice, several are regulars who have come to know the servers, but most barely look us in the eye. I don't expect to be discussing the meaning of life at work, I realize that at this second job, my function is to serve food and do it well, but am I not still the complex person I was before I put on the apron?
I look around at my coworkers, and feel sad that other's aren't taking the time to get know or even consider these amazing people as whole people! I charge all of you to think about it the next time you're out, Of course I wouldn't expect you to ask your server to sit down and join you, but remember...you just may be being served your seafood pomodoro by a warrior princess who is plotting to save the world!
As I noted before, I have begun moonlighting as waitress. I love food and love people so I thought it would be something I'm good at, and it turns out I'm pretty right. I didn't realize how many valuable lessons I would learn.
Previous to waitressing myself, I suppose I had many assumptions about who was serving my meals. I assumed that as a server, most people were either college students working through school, or people who hadn't gone on to higher education and simply enjoyed the value of a good days work. Well, I was wrong. There are several traditional aged college students working at the restaurant, but just about everyone else already has a degree, some in the process of obtaining a master's, a few who already have a master's. I have quickly learned that just as the economy has pinched my budget, for others it has meant working full time as a server because good jobs are hard to find.
The people I work with are amazing, some down right brilliant. Many have travelled across the globe on various pursuits, others have incredible life stories. The people I work with are complete, whole, interesting and complex people just as I am. I have quickly learned though that when serving, the customer's rarely think about the complex person who is delivering their dessert.
I think through other posts, many of you will have figured out that I'm a pretty outgoing person, I love being around others and adore a little spotlight attention. Well, I have never felt invisible before, but as a server, one often does. Yes, many customers are very nice, several are regulars who have come to know the servers, but most barely look us in the eye. I don't expect to be discussing the meaning of life at work, I realize that at this second job, my function is to serve food and do it well, but am I not still the complex person I was before I put on the apron?
I look around at my coworkers, and feel sad that other's aren't taking the time to get know or even consider these amazing people as whole people! I charge all of you to think about it the next time you're out, Of course I wouldn't expect you to ask your server to sit down and join you, but remember...you just may be being served your seafood pomodoro by a warrior princess who is plotting to save the world!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"Double agent"
I have acquired a second job! My first job is awesome, and I think we are well compensated for our work-particularly as it is in human services, but no one will ever get rich in this field! With the economy the way that it is, our money just doesn't seem to stretch out quite enough, so I am now moonlighting as a waitress. I love it! The restaurant is amazing! The people are great! but this means I have less time for blogging. I will still post, and I have of course abandoned the blog for periods in the past. Keep your eyes peeled and I'll pop up at least a few times a week.
I'm attaching the link for the restaurant, you have to check it out, Chef Dato rocks! I highly recommend that if you are ever in the area you should stop by. You'll have the best meal ever!http://www.chefdato.com/tinlizzyabout.html
I'm attaching the link for the restaurant, you have to check it out, Chef Dato rocks! I highly recommend that if you are ever in the area you should stop by. You'll have the best meal ever!http://www.chefdato.com/tinlizzyabout.html
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
"Make the most of yourself..."
Savannah, my daughter, just started 4th grade on Monday. She was given a homework folder and on the back are a list of great quotes. I'd like to share them with you, my favorites indicated in blue.
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you-
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good character consists of knowing the good, desiring the good, and doing the good-
Thomas Lickona
Hate is like acid.It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured- Ann Landers
People need to respect each other's concerns and differences. And frankly, there's far more in common than divides us- David Dinkins
Parents can only give advice or put kids on the right path, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands- Ann Frank
Words can destroy. What we call each other ultimately becomes what we think of each other, and it matters- Jeane Kirkpatrick
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of overcoming it-
Helen Keller
We must use our lives to make the world a better place, not just acquire things-
Delores Huerta
To do good in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning in your life- Paula P. Brownlee
This above all: to thine own self be true-
William Shakespeare
Do you have a favorite quote? Please share any really good ones, or pick your favorite from this list.
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you-
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Good character consists of knowing the good, desiring the good, and doing the good-
Thomas Lickona
Hate is like acid.It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well as destroy the object on which it is poured- Ann Landers
People need to respect each other's concerns and differences. And frankly, there's far more in common than divides us- David Dinkins
Parents can only give advice or put kids on the right path, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands- Ann Frank
Words can destroy. What we call each other ultimately becomes what we think of each other, and it matters- Jeane Kirkpatrick
Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of overcoming it-
Helen Keller
We must use our lives to make the world a better place, not just acquire things-
Delores Huerta
To do good in the world, first you must know who you are and what gives meaning in your life- Paula P. Brownlee
This above all: to thine own self be true-
William Shakespeare
Do you have a favorite quote? Please share any really good ones, or pick your favorite from this list.
Monday, August 25, 2008
8th Graders and Heroin?
That's right, did you know there are 8th grade students who use heroin? I'm sure somewhere in my mind I understood this, but never really thought it was true and certainly not present in the quaint suburban schools where I live. Well today I learned that 8th graders can not only use heroin, but also transport it to school via their backpacks!
How do I know this nugget of information? Because my son who is still restricted to PG movies is in class with someone who was busted with heroin in her backpack! Of course, it was planted there (according to her).
My rather sad blog on Saturday was in reference to the schools decision to place my son (supposedly temporarily) in an "alternate" setting. What it boils down to is that they don't know what else to do because of that oh so scary label he carries. Up until his transition to middle school last year he did very well, with some help from me and teachers. At the middle school level he no longer had only one teacher throughout the day and because my requests for support for him had fallen on deaf ears, it was a difficult transition. Academically he still fared pretty well, but if you review a much earlier blog(seen, not heard) you may note that I was suddenly getting calls because he "laughed and moved around" in the lunch room.
So, now my son is at school with heroin using 8th graders and students who have attacked teachers...Tyler did very well today and is keeping his goal in mind, to get back to regular school as soon as possible. I'm doing everything I can to support him, meanwhile contemplating staking out the school to ensure that no illegal activity comes close to my son! OK, so I won't stake out the school and I know that Tyler is well educated and above those influences, but I have to wonder...What the hell were they thinking???!!!!!!
How do I know this nugget of information? Because my son who is still restricted to PG movies is in class with someone who was busted with heroin in her backpack! Of course, it was planted there (according to her).
My rather sad blog on Saturday was in reference to the schools decision to place my son (supposedly temporarily) in an "alternate" setting. What it boils down to is that they don't know what else to do because of that oh so scary label he carries. Up until his transition to middle school last year he did very well, with some help from me and teachers. At the middle school level he no longer had only one teacher throughout the day and because my requests for support for him had fallen on deaf ears, it was a difficult transition. Academically he still fared pretty well, but if you review a much earlier blog(seen, not heard) you may note that I was suddenly getting calls because he "laughed and moved around" in the lunch room.
So, now my son is at school with heroin using 8th graders and students who have attacked teachers...Tyler did very well today and is keeping his goal in mind, to get back to regular school as soon as possible. I'm doing everything I can to support him, meanwhile contemplating staking out the school to ensure that no illegal activity comes close to my son! OK, so I won't stake out the school and I know that Tyler is well educated and above those influences, but I have to wonder...What the hell were they thinking???!!!!!!
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Not Today
Today I can not be a "warrior," not today.
My son is about to learn of the cruelty and hazy assumptions that sometimes rule our world, and there is nothing I can do about it. He has been characterized by a label and no matter what I say or how I say it I can not change their minds. He is going to have to be his own warrior and fight this battle for himself. I can not prove to them who he really is, only he can do that.
For the first time in his life I can not shield nor protect him from the view others have of mental illness. Right now, his school sees only THAT label, to them, at this moment he is nothing more and they are afraid of what they do not know. They have been blinded by their assumptions and no matter how much righteous indignation I can muster their assumptions, no matter how discriminatory, will not change. Only my precious son can do that.
Come tomorrow I have to explain to him what is happening, I will have to look at the hurt, disappointment and anger in his face and then will have to send him "out there" to conquer attitudes for himself. I have no choice but to be positive and strive to see the best in this, and somehow I have to show him the best in it too. I will have to stand behind him and cheer him forward but no longer can I wage on for him.
Today is a new day in my title as "mother," today will be a new day as my son is forced to be man. He can do this, I know he can...but how I wish he didn't have to, at least not today, not yet.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Today I got a gift
Today I was a given a gift from one of my favorite people. To show gratitude, he had purchased a book, but not just any book. He took the time to really consider who I am, and gave me a book that fit with that. He made a perfect selection and I am so excited that someone took the time to REALLY consider who I am. It's not often that people do that. That wasn't the best part of the gift though...
As he presented me with this thoughtfully selected treasure he took the time to explain it. He talked about who I am, and I'm pretty sure I heard the term "Warrior princess". I like that! That's a moniker I can really sink my teeth into, maybe next week I won't be fab anymore! It was a wonderful gift from another person who could describe how they see me, who I am( He did say more than just warrior princess-but boy that stuck out). It was a great gift to know that someone looked so deeply. That wasn't the best part of the gift though...
Inside the book was a card. The card was a beautiful one expressing gratitude, again within this card some virtues were noted, sincere appreciation expressed. It was as thoughtful and carefully selected as the book, as was the inscription within. It takes real time to do this, to pick the perfect card, write the perfect words and not a lot of people take that time these days. I felt pretty nice to know that someone, who didn't have to, had really considered me, took time out of their hectic, demanding schedule to really express that in some way I am important to another human being. That wasn't the best part of the gift though...
The best part of the gift was a word written inside the card. It was the word "friend." That is the gift I am most grateful for from this person and anyone else who bestows that title upon me. To be called friend and to have people I can call friend, that's a true blessing. Especially to have the friends I have been blessed with. I have a friend I admire and respect, a friend with knowledge and compassion and dedication. A friend who takes the time, and who is just one of several others who would give me time should I need it. I am called "friend, " that's the true gift.
As he presented me with this thoughtfully selected treasure he took the time to explain it. He talked about who I am, and I'm pretty sure I heard the term "Warrior princess". I like that! That's a moniker I can really sink my teeth into, maybe next week I won't be fab anymore! It was a wonderful gift from another person who could describe how they see me, who I am( He did say more than just warrior princess-but boy that stuck out). It was a great gift to know that someone looked so deeply. That wasn't the best part of the gift though...
Inside the book was a card. The card was a beautiful one expressing gratitude, again within this card some virtues were noted, sincere appreciation expressed. It was as thoughtful and carefully selected as the book, as was the inscription within. It takes real time to do this, to pick the perfect card, write the perfect words and not a lot of people take that time these days. I felt pretty nice to know that someone, who didn't have to, had really considered me, took time out of their hectic, demanding schedule to really express that in some way I am important to another human being. That wasn't the best part of the gift though...
The best part of the gift was a word written inside the card. It was the word "friend." That is the gift I am most grateful for from this person and anyone else who bestows that title upon me. To be called friend and to have people I can call friend, that's a true blessing. Especially to have the friends I have been blessed with. I have a friend I admire and respect, a friend with knowledge and compassion and dedication. A friend who takes the time, and who is just one of several others who would give me time should I need it. I am called "friend, " that's the true gift.
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